don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
