All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize