I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
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