Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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