Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
