Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
