I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
