you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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