My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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