Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize