this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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