honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
