what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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