So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
