Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
