Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
