fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
