his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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