so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
