batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize