why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
this will be a night to untag.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
