Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize