The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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