You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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