ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
