Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
