my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
