I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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