I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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