dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
