Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
