Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up under a house in Key West
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
