The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
