so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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