In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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