The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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