Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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