I think I died a long time ago.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize