Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
