I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
