I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
