my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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