btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
