He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize