If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
