Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
