just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
