when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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