I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
