The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
