I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
well you can't waste a boner
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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