Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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