i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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