finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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