My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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