i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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