WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
