How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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