We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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