had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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