your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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