so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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