Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
