Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
