Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
