Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
