I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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