Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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