I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
