I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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