I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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