wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
