fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
