what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize