i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
