I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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