Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
