You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
this boner is exhausting
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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