Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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