is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
