i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
