you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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