ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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